International Affairs: July 2004 Archives
This is so bizarre that I'm almost sure there must be some explanation other than the obvious. A American border-watch group snuck across the US-Mexico border and brought a "fake WMD" into the States -- presumably after first sneaking into Mexico.
The Mexican government is checking a videotape and may enter a formal complaint with the United States government.And so Mexico is going to formally complain about Americans sneaking into their country? I'm speechless."If the incident can be confirmed," said Miguel Escobar, Mexico's consul in Douglas, "a formal letter of protest will be submitted to the U.S. government."
Like John Edwards, I speak to lots of foreign leaders and dignitaries.
"Just a few weeks ago...I was in Brussels at NATO meeting with a whole group of NATO ambassadors and hearing their perspective on this. I just believe that these countries around the world, whose cooperation and alliances we need, believe that in order for them to have a fresh start with America, we're going to need a new president to do that. Now, they're not going to want to say this very vocally, of course, but the reality is that in order for us to reestablish old relations and to establish new relationships, I believe we need a new president. ...Strangely, I get a different story. Just yesterday I was hanging out with the Pope and Yasser Arafat and they told me that Bush should remain President and that I should be crowned Emperor of the World. At first I demurred -- since I'm still quite busy with graduate school -- but once they got the ghosts of Mother Teresa and Gandhi on the phone to urge me to accept the position it was hard to resist."They didn't say that directly. What they said was they're very frustrated with the way this administration has dealt with them."
So I text-messaged Presidents Bush and Putin and they told me that the UN Security Council had already been drafting such a resolution for a few years now. They didn't want to go public with it, of course, until they knew I'd accept, because some of the members have a hard time taking rejection.
The coronation should happen Real Soon Now, but don't worry, I won't use my power for evil, only for good, and only in very subtle ways that may not be immediately obvious to the casual observer. Plus, I'll maintain a low profile and let the existing world leaders stay in the spotlight. I do, however, command Matt Drudge to annouce my coronation immediately.
Iraqi newspaper al-Sabah claimed that missiles with nuclear warheads have been found in Iraq, and UPI picked up the story, along with quick denials from US military personnel.
"Nothing's been found. The report is not factual," said Master Sgt. Robert Cowens, a spokesman for the 1st Infantry Division, based in Tikrit.The Iraqi Interior Minister also says the report is wrong.
Iraq's Interior Ministry dismissed as "stupid" a report in a local newspaper Wednesday that said three nuclear missiles had been found near Saddam Hussein's hometown of Tikrit.I think the report is very likely to be wrong as well, but it's not guaranteed. On the surface it would appear that our government would have every reason to disclose such a discovery, but I can imagine scenarios in which we'd want to keep it secret.
For instance, what if the nukes were foreign-made? There might be more advantage to hiding them and using blackmail than to revealing their existence. If France or Russia (or even Germany) supplied the technology or the weapons themselves, America may not be eager for a confrontation right now. The weapons could be used as bargaining chips behind the scenes, however. There would be similar incentives if the weapons were of American origin.
Alternatively, they may have found evidence that there are other sites with nuclear materials and they wouldn't want to reveal anything until they're sure they've found and secured them all.
I'd just like to repeat my earlier invitation -- if France is becoming hostile all you French Jews are more than welcome to move to America.
Omar (or Mohammed?) at Iraq the Model explains where all the Iraqi oil money (plus more) has gone.
I don't see anything wrong with the Popular Resistance Committee summer camp. It's just another culture -- who are we to judge? Besides, it's for the children.
