Yesterday I met two incredibly strange guys. The first I call "One-Bite", because he eats everything in a single bite. I watched him take a bagel-half, cover it with cream cheese, and then stick the entire bagel-half into his mouth at once and eat the entire thing in one bite in the middle of the conversation. Everyone else paused, recognizing the surreality of the act, but One-Bite just kept on as if nothing had happened. Later I saw him make a taco at the buffet and shove the whole thing in his mouth at once. It was bizarre and vaguely nauseating.
And then there's the Human Water Balloon. When we met in the morning he was a normal-looking guy with little discernible gut. Over the course of the day, however, I watched him suck down dozens of sodas and never go to the bathroom. By the time evening came he had a huge distended belly hanging over his belt. I would have sworn this was impossible if I hadn't seen it myself.






