Recently in Humor Category
Cracked.com's number one most important thing they didn't teach you in school":
Many of you will get very depressed in your 20s, and some of you will stay that way the rest of your lives. Over the years your garage band will break up, you career dream will fall through, a girl will break your heart, you'll be unhappy with your body, you'll lose your parents, your favorite pet will die, you will endure at least one very terrible injury that requires hospitalization and breaks new boundaries for what kind of pain you thought was possible.The reason why this will lead to depression, where it may not have done so for an equivalent person 200 years ago, is because you were raised on illogical stories where things always work out for the main character for utterly arbitrary reasons. Han Solo can shoot straight, but none of the bad guys can--even though they train more. John McClane beats the terrorists because he has toughness and perseverance--something the bad guys lack, even though they should be equally desperate. If a guy and a girl are right for each other, they always wind up together, careers and geography and personal hang-ups be damned.
Here's the problem: these fantasies were created by adults, as a means of escape from the real world. You, however, have been watching them since you were five--for most of us these were our first impressions of how the adult world works, even if on a subconscious level. You had no context to realize they were bullshit. It sounds frivolous, but that doesn't change the fact that some of you reading this will not survive the long process of learning how different the real world is.
If it helps, try to remember that you're still one of the one percent of humanity that was born in a time and place where there is such a thing as anesthesia.
Too true.
Top Three Things to Communicate Through Our Logo Design:#1 Oil spill disaster - Toxic
#2 Death of wildlife
#3 Incompetence
(HT: RB.)
Reader DP sends along this ancient (2003) article from The Onion about Americans' demands for more governmental "protection".
Alarmed by the unhealthy choices they make every day, more and more Americans are calling on the government to enact legislation that will protect them from their own behavior."The government is finally starting to take some responsibility for the effect my behavior has on others," said New York City resident Alec Haverchuk, 44, who is prohibited by law from smoking in restaurants and bars. "But we have a long way to go. I can still light up on city streets and in the privacy of my own home. I mean, legislators acknowledge that my cigarette smoke could give others cancer, but don't they care about me, too?"
"It's not just about Americans eating too many fries or cracking their skulls open when they fall off their bicycles," said Los Angeles resident Rebecca Burnie, 26. "It's a financial issue, too. I spend all my money on trendy clothes and a nightlife that I can't afford. I'm $23,000 in debt, but the credit-card companies keep letting me spend. It's obscene that the government allows those companies to allow me to do this to myself. Why do I pay my taxes?"
Parody becomes reality....
Yeah, Jon Stewart is on a roll.
Parenting Fail photos. Here's the one that made me cry.
A history of programming languages that will be amusing only to software engineers. I won't quote it... if you think you'd like it, you probably will.
My wife and I drove a Sienna from Los Angeles to St. Louis when we moved, and it's actually quite an awesome vehicle. I have to admit that I'm kinda looking forward to getting a mini-van someday.
(HT: RB.)
Taking advantage of your credit card's concierge service.
TEST #1: GIANT TUB OF NACHO CHEESEI made my first call to the Visa Chase Freedom concierge service by calling the toll-free number on the back of my card. I was connected to a concierge named David, who I pictured wearing a little bellboy hat, like a hotel concierge, though I think they just wear a telephone headset nowadays.
David spoke English, which was a nice change from my usual calls to Visa. “I’m traveling to Austin next week, and I want a big tub of nacho cheese. Make that a HUGE tub,” I told him. “Enough to fill a punch bowl.”
“Does it need to be in a tub?” he asked, taking the request with the seriousness of someone who worked for me.
“Can, jar, tub, I don’t care,” I said. “I just want liquid cheese, and a lot of it.”
(HT: LM and Credit Card Chasers.)
Ah, the good old days of Geocities: blinky text, huge tiled backgrounds, musical themes, and animated gifs galore! Now you can relive the Internet's glory days with the Geocitiesizer, which will handily convert any modern webpage into a Geocities wonderland. For your entertainment, here's Master of None, Geocities style!
(HT: RD.)
I don't know how Admiral Willard restrained himself. It's incredibly discouraging to see our Congress in action.
(HT: RB.)
Related videos here.
(HT: More video game fun from RC.)
(HT: RC.)
