Why have 165+ people recently gone missing from cruise ships? Because they've been murdered.

According to the U.S.-based International Cruise Victims Association, 165 people have gone missing at sea since 1995, with at least 13 this year alone -- many of them from vessels popular with British holidaymakers. ...

But is the idea of someone 'slipping overboard' credible? The rails on cruise ships are at least 3ft 6in high, which makes it incredibly difficult for anyone -- even someone who might be drunk or ill -- to pitch overboard.

Bonk on the head from behind, and then one good shove over the railing. Adios, chum!

When a person disappears from a cruise ship does their home country investigate? Nope! Police from the country where the ship is registered do the investigation, if one is even performed. Do you think that cop from the Bahamas is going to fly around the world interviewing passengers and collecting evidence? Yeah, me neither.

Potential murderers:

1. The most likely killer is always the spouse. Guess who will also have the easiest time luring you onto the floating abattoir?

2. Serial killers. I bet it isn't hard to cruise using a fake identity, not that investigators are ever likely to question you anyway.

3. Robbers. People cruise with jewelry, passports, and other valuables.

4. Co-workers. Crew members go missing too! Co-workers in close proximity for long periods of time have plenty of opportunity for making enemies (anger/jealousy over promotions, romance, etc.).

5. Stowaways. Sneak on board then kill someone and assume their identity for the duration. Or kill someone while they're off the ship on a tour.

Needless to say, I won't be taking a cruise any time soon.

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