Despite the 20+ resumes I've received in the past few days, I am not a medical front office and I don't need to hire a receptionist. I can only assume that "doctor plastic" is hiring, and that the, uh, less qualified applicants are spamming my email address by mistake.
Should I post excerpts from some of the funniest? I'm so conflicted....
(All formatting, spelling, et cetera as per originals.)
This one Capitalizes like she's Writing the Declaration of Independence:
My impeccable track record in a fast paced Medical facility makes me an idea candidate for your Medical Receptionist position! ...
My Employers, as well as Patients have recognized my Customer Service skills, communication and leadership abilities and personal initiative.
This next one can't be fully appreciated without the ten different fonts used, but here's a sample:
Objective:To obtain a position as a certified nursing assistant or a medical assistant, in a medical office or hospital setting and provide quality care for my patients. ...
Patient Accts Rep/Collections 1999-2006
Responsibilities were as follows, but not limited to: filing monitoring patient accts, posting patient payments, maintaining the highest level of customer service. coding and some billing scheduling appointments, managing the front and back office. verification of all insurance, admissions, customer service, medical records.
And customer service! But most importantly, filing.
At least this one has enthusiasm:
I'm looking forward in working with your company and bringing the best of my work.