In a bizarre move that's almost certain to reduce the security of British subjects, British police have agreed to get permission from "Muslim leaders" before conducting terror raids.

POLICE have agreed to consult a panel of Muslim leaders before mounting counter-terrorist raids or arrests. Members of the panel will offer their assessment of whether information police have on a suspect is too flimsy and will also consider the consequences on community relations of a raid.

"Hey Osama, can we pretty please raid the flat down the street with all the smoke billowing from the windows?"

Members will be security vetted and will have to promise not to reveal any intelligence they are shown. They will not have to sign the Official Secrets Act.

"We'll be raiding at 3am, but please don't tell them or they'll move their bomb factory before we get there. Promise? Crescent your heart and hope to die, strap a bomb-belt to your thigh?"

What's wrong with you, Britain? I was watching PBS last night and 200 years ago you Brits sentenced an 11-year-old girl to death for stealing her friend's clothes, and then considered it gracious to commute the sentence and merely ship the child off to Australia. That's pretty hard core, and that's why you ruled the world. And now this nonsense? Don't you have any pride?

The whole idea is idiotic, but I'm sure it'll move to America. Some other ideas:

- Notify the trailer park block president before raiding a meth house.

- Get permission from Marion Barry before conducting any crack whore sting operations.

- Ask Robert Byrd to oversee hate crime prosecution.

- Put Ted Kennedy in charge of the little guppies swim class.

- Oh whatever, this is too easy, use your imagination.



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