Apparently one girl has discovered at least one reason why society tends to discourage girls from pursuing boys.
That said, I think there is one really good reason why the girl shouldn’t ask the boy and it goes double for calling after there has been a date. The reason, and I have learned this repeatedly, is that men won’t turn down someone they aren’t very interested in. Especially if the girl is just persistent and interested enough and comes up with fun things to do. If I have a crush on a boy, I would love to plan fantastic dates. I would totally take the boy out to demolition derby at the State Fair, or an all-city championship high school basketball game followed by burgers at the secret good burger place. I can come up with stuff like that all day long. I would love to arrange a summer’s worth of dates and I have no fear of calling to invite him. It would be far, far easier than waiting to see if the phone will ring.But here’s the thing. Boys want to go on fantastic dates and they’ll even put out afterward. They can do that indefinitely. But they can do that even when they don’t really mean it. So much later, when you really like him, he’s all “but I’m not in love with you”, or “I guess I just don’t feel as strongly about you.” And you’re all, “Holy fuck, this is how you’ve always felt? Why didn’t you say anything?” And he’s all, “I dunno.” So spending time with the boy and doing things with the boy (even personal things) will never actually tell you how important you are to the boy.
Yeah, pretty much. Amazing that "traditional" mating strategies actually had some value besides oppressing women and reinforcing the patriarchy.
Commenter Thuddmonkey also has great insight into the male mind:
All of this revolves around the same truth: Men are, by women's standards, incredibly socially clueless. This comes from the fact that men, amongst themselves, tend to just say what they mean, and come to expect that everyone else will too. Never assume that any man understands that you mean anything other than what you say.
(HT: Marginal Revolution.)
Women should take some advice from our Lord, "Let your yes be your yes and your no be your no" There's nothing admirable about meaning something other than what you say.. Some would even call that.... Lying.
One of the things I love about my wife is that she doesn't play those sorts of head games. She also says what she means, and takes what I say at face value instead of parsing it for 'hidden meanings'. And she's contemptuous of women who do play those sorts of games, and thinks they deserve the resulting problems they make for themselves.
Sometimes she jokes that she's a gay man trapped in a woman's body. I can live with that.
Well, both genders "play games", it's part of the mating ritual. That doesn't mean it's right, but apparently it's a stable system. Considering that your "opponents" won't always be honest and fair, it's hard to argue that you should let yourself get taken advantage of by being too trusting.
And anyway, no one has recognized the source of the post's title?!
Marty's first 1985 mom.