Surrounded By Retards

I'm generally quite an optimistic person, especially considering my unrelenting cynicism, and one of the only things that ever gets me down is the realization that I'm surrounded by retards like the administrators and parents of the Keller school district. I suppose I should apologize for using the word "retard", since it's totally unfair to the mentally handicapped to be linked with the drooling idiots that run most public school systems.

A Keller school district parent said political correctness has run amok at her daughter's elementary school, where the principal chose to omit the words "In God We Trust" from an oversize coin depicted on the yearbook cover.

Janet Travis, principal of Liberty Elementary School in Colleyville, wanted to avoid offending students of different religions, a district spokesman said. Students were given stickers with the words that could be affixed to the book if they so chose. ...

Officials chose an image of an enlarged nickel for the yearbook cover because this is Liberty Elementary's first year and because the nickel has a new design this year.

The nickel design features President Jefferson and the word Liberty in cursive, with the words "In God We Trust" along the right edge.

Keller administrators agreed with the decision, which Travis made in conjunction with a school parents group, district spokesman Jason Meyer said. District policy states, in part: "The District shall take no action respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech."

Principals must strive to remain neutral regarding religion, Meyer said.

"It's not always easy to make everybody happy when we are making decisions," he said. He said Travis was unavailable for comment Friday.

Here's an idea: rather than worrying about making everyone "happy", why not just stick with the truth. Again, my apologies to the mentally handicapped, you shouldn't have to share the planet with these retards either. Naturally, the ACLU is thrilled.

Michael Linz, a Dallas attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union, said the district's move was appropriate, sensitive and constitutional.

"Sometimes administrators and schools are really caught trying to make appropriate decisions with respect to people's views. Someone is always going to complain," he said. "I think that the school administrators were drawing the appropriate line by trying not to offend others."

Apparently "trying not to offend others" is now the highest American ideal. Dear God, please help me not to offend all the retards that surround me.

(HT: Clayton Cramer.)