What's the best place you've ever stashed anything? I had to go to Monterey earlier this week for a business trip, and just as I was about to pass through security at LAX I remembered that I hadn't left my knives at home! They go with me everywhere, but I obviously couldn't take them onto a plane, and I didn't relish the prospect of surrendering them to the TSA.
So I had my fellow-traveler hold my place in line while I ran to the bathroom and hid my knives in one of the metal soap dispensers. You know, the old kind of wall-mounted dispenser that every public restroom has, that sits unused but is never removed despite being displaced by newer models. The unit opened easily enough and I stashed my hardware inside, wrapped in some paper towels.
I was worried about my knives for the whole trip, but when I got back to LA after three days away they were still waiting for me in the restroom! Huzzah! I was so relieved. I'm constantly using my knives, and I hate going without them.
For some reson this quote came to mind:
I apologize if anyone is offended by the language or making fun of foreign objects being placed in the rear end.
Speaking of which, didn't Richard Gere stash something.....
I traveled to East Germany a few times between 1987 and 1989. Each time I smuggled East German Douchemarks from the west, where they were available dirt cheap but illegal to import. [The official exchange rate in the east was 1 Douchemark to 1 Deutschmark - market rates were about 13:1]. The best place I stashed it was in my jeans, by doing surgery on the folded-over loop under the belt, slipping the bills in, and working them all the way to the front.
The worst place I ever stashed anything while smuggling stuff across the same border was a few postcards I purchased in West Berlin with statements openly critical of East Germany, complete with East German stamps. All I got was a stern warning not to attempt to send them from the East, which I did anyway. Every one arrived.
Jeez, don't you think they would have shut down the airport if they'd found knives stashed in the bathroom?
Every time I stash stuff I promptly forget where it is, so I try really hard not to stash anything. That's why everything I own is all over my living room.
That being said, the very best place to stash Christmas presents is right under the noses of the recipients. If you try to hide them in closets or under beds, especially if you're hiding them from the kids, they will know they're Christmas presents; but if you make no attempt to hide them, they become part of the "background noise" and they tune them out.
Naw, the best thing to do is just carry them though security. Almost every time I travel, I carry a couple of packages of double-edged razor blades through in my toiletries bag. They are only $2 a pack, so I'll throw them away if they catch them, but they never have. (They did find a 5/16 open ended wrench I had in my bag once. Wiley, those TSA guys are.)
If they are obvious knives that won't pass standing on end in the bag, toss them in a bottle of shampoo. That will make them invisible to the x-ray machine. (And no, I'm not giving any tips to Al Qaeda -- that is where we learned this from.)
You may be able to hide explosives in shampoo bottles, but nothing metal.