A recent study out of the University of Iowa shows that although opposites may attract, couples with similar personalities are much more likely to stay together.
A study of almost 300 couples, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that the happiest duos scored similarly on personality traits such as openness, agreeableness, conscientiousness and "disinhibition" -- a measure of irresponsible or reckless behavior.Researchers Shanhong Luo and Eva Klohnen of the University of Iowa say sharing the most personality traits creates compatibility and reduces conflict. ...
"What is most intriguing is that when the researchers assessed marital quality and happiness, they found that personality similarity was related to marital satisfaction, but attitude similarity was not," they say in the peer-reviewed article.
"People may be attracted to those who have similar attitudes, values and beliefs and even marry them, at least in part on the basis of this similarity, because attitudes are highly visible and salient characteristics, and they are fundamental to the way people lead their lives." ...
"What we found is, if two people are similar -- both liberal, for example -- they probably will be attracted to each other at first sight," Luo says.
Once people are in a committed relationship, though, it's mostly personality similarities that influence marital happiness, she says.
Although it's shocking that anyone would love a liberal -- even another liberal -- this research lines up with my own experience and intuition. My girlfriend and I certainly think in different ways, but most of those differences are related to gender. I think our personalities are pretty similar; we work together well, and never seem to get tired of being around each other even in difficult circumstances. I think one of the key indicators of compatible personalities is that neither person ever wants the other to "just go away".
(HT: James Taranto.)
I guess I'm just a bit less extreme than you, MW. I don't find it shocking or odd that conservatives love conservatives or that liberals love liberals.
As is usually the case, the truth of the matter is often much less extraordinary and remarkable than it is made out to be by the extremes of conservative and/or liberal commentary and punditry.
In the case of the topic at hand, it's not too surprising to find out that both differences and similarities are required for long-lasting relationships. Two people who are either too much alike or too dissimilar are probably not going to be together for a very long time.
Mike,
Nobody else has a personality similar to yours. They broke that mold!!!
Michael,
I always assumed the reason you didn't love me was because I'm a guy -- now the truth has been revealed -- it's because I'm a liberal!
I don't know about everyone else, but I know that when times have been tough, what's held my husband and I together is our shared personality trait of stubborn hard-headedness. That, and this amazing ability we have to have vehement disagreements about which direction forks should go in the dishwasher, but be in total and instant agreement about major life decisions like whether to move with his company to another city.