It seems that most fugitives get caught by doing something really stupid. Many argue that only stupid people think they can live a life of crime and get away with it, and that's definitely true in the long run, but once you're free from the cops it doesn't seem like it would be that hard to stay free. Here are the guidelines that come to mind:
1. Leave the area. Don't go home, and possibly leave the country. If your crimes are minor enough, this may be pretty much all you have to do.
2. Stop using your credit cards and cell phone. Terrorists and child abusers alike seem slow to discover that the good guys can track these technologies rather easily.
3. Stop committing crimes. You want the heat to die down, and crime just raises the ire of the locals wherever you fled. If you must commit crimes, at least change your modus operandi so the police can't connect the dots.
4. Don't break traffic laws. Remember Scott Peterson, Timothy McVeigh, and countless others who were caught because they got stopped by the fuzz.
5. Break contact with people and things from your past. Ditch the car and house, make new friends, get new hobbies, change your name, don't go to family reunions.
6. Don't tell anyone anything about your past. Resist the need to unload your guilty stories on someone you come to trust, because they're likely to betray you. Just hide it all away and take your secrets to your grave.
Can anyone else think of any others?
call 1-800-Johnny
Cochran is the remedy for crime.
Don't start a blog...
Too much Law and Order has convinced me you should a) use gloves; b) cover your victim's eyes; c) burn whatever you can to destroy DNA; d) be a twin (did you all see that one? it was seriously freaky...)
I think you hit the main points.
Also, you'd want to make any preparations beforehand that might help keep a criminal investigation from focusing on you as a suspect for as long as possible. At least establish a decent alibi that doesn't depend on anyone lying for you. This might help throw the detectives off your trail long enough to allow you to flee the jurisdiction.
And, of course, get rid of evidence. You, as a brown-eyed, brown-haired Caucasian male with a medium build, are not going to stand out as much as that tangerine Ferrari you stole. Dump the evidence. If you plan on using a gun, use a gun that has never been involved in a crime before, and then toss it in the river when you're done.
DD: That's after you're caught.
WSK: I love L&O. I always carry gloves now, just in case.
N: Yeah, I don't get why it's apparently so hard for people to dispose of murder weapons. "Oh, I'll just throw it in a trash can, no one will look there."
Don't start living visibly beyond your means.
How'd y'all miss that one?
Don't laugh evilly and maniacally. Maniacally evil laughter just screams, "I'm an evil maniac and I've probably committed a crime!!"
Actually, throwing things in the trash can work out quite well. The murder of Lori Hacking is an example. Her body was put in the landfill on trash day and immediately taken away with the trash. They only found her body because her husband finally broke down and told police he had put it in the trash-- and then only after months of searching the landfill. So I guess one tip to criminals would be to commit crimes on trash day, right before pick-up.
sorry, "her body was put in the landfill" should read "her body was put in the dumpster".
Don't take out the life insurance policy on your spouse just weeks before you have them "wacked".
I am still waiting to find out if "leaving your gun" in the restaurant and returning for it is a good idea or bad.
Last, if the first person that you ask to kill your wife says no, maybe you should stop there as opposed to continue working through your list. Baretta!
Eric: It's only a good idea to leave your gun in the restaurant if you have severe ADD. Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out that defense claim, too (via Blake's daughter). When I leave my gun in a restaurant and return to retrieve it, I simply tell all the waiters that I had an onset of ADD. Then they're like "oh, ok."
Another piece of good advice: Don't go on a slowspeed chase that's long enough to gather like 50 cop cars and all the news stations.
This whole thing reminded me of this great Chris Rock video:
http://www.airshowfan.com/police.mpg
And if you're too lazy to cut and paste, then just click here. About 10 megs. Worth the download.
Bernardo
camerastore.blogspot.com
AirShowFan.com
Part A: Be Mexican.
Part B: Flee to Mexico.
Die.
That would ensure you won't be caught. Plus you'd be doing a public service.
What if you commited a crime amd are the most likely suspect and are already in trouble with the law and have no money to leave the state never mind the counrty but have a connection in a nearby county?