For the people who were too lazy to actually watch last night's debate, I've used Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize tool to condense the candidates' points into ten sentences each. (Transcript.)

BUSH: My opponent talks about fiscal sanity. You voted to increase taxes 98 times. Most health care costs are covered by third parties. We're expanding veterans' health care throughout the country. If you have a child, you got tax relief. If you're married, you got tax relief. If you pay any tax at all, you got tax relief. We've increased funds. The people I talked to their spirits were high. I think people understand what she's saying.

KERRY: 82,000 Arizonians lost their health insurance under President Bush's watch. This president has turned his back on the wellness of America. President Bush has taken — he's the only president in history to do this. He's also the only president in 72 years to lose jobs — 1.6 million jobs lost. Once again, the president is misleading America. It works. The president just said that government-run health care results in poor quality. The jobs the president is creating pay $9,000 less than the jobs that we're losing. Well, again, the president didn't answer the question. Let me pay a compliment to the president, if I may.

So there you have it. For a more humorous summary of Kerry's positions, I refer you to the Grouchy Old Cripple.



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