An... inventor(?) in Japan claims to have developed a cell phone ring tone that will enlarge the breasts of women who hear it.

Hideto Tomabechi -- who first made headlines in Japan almost a decade ago after he cured brainwashed members of the AUM Shinrikyo doomsday cult that unleashed deadly sarin gas on the Tokyo subway system -- claims to have developed a tune for ring tones that promises to increase the breast measurements of those who listen to it.

And Tomabechi's brainchild for better busts has boomed, with chest challenged chicks swarming to transfer data to their own phones.

"I listened to the tune for a week expecting all the time that I was being duped," says Chieri Nakayama, a 19-year-old pin-up model, tells Shukan Gendai. "But, incredibly, my 87-centimeter bust grew to 89 centimeters! It was awesome!"

How does it work?
"Most would think it's a lie, but the techniques involved in the process have been known for some time and are the result of research I carried out in the '80s and '90s," Tomabechi tells Shukan Gendai. "I use sounds that make the brain and body move unconsciously. It's a technique involving subliminal effects."

Tomabechi claims that techniques exist to provoke movement in a certain part of the brain that reacts to sounds and light.

"It's a part of cognitive science. I suppose you could call it a kind of 'positive brainwashing,'" he says. "Sound waves travel in patterns that can be properly re-played."

He does it using... cognitive science! In layman's terms, just think of it as "positive brainwashing".

If increasing your breast size isn't your bag, baby, then you might want to try one of these other ring tones instead.

It's an old adage that many illnesses are all in the mind, but if the counselor's claims are correct, the key to having a huge set of breasts could be the same. Tomabechi says he's already got plans on the drawing board for ring tones aimed at improving memory, increasing attractiveness for the opposite sex, making hair sprout and quitting cigarettes.



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