Candace gives the award for most awkward come-ons to:
Poets.The thing is that when most girls hear "poet", "musician", "artist", or "actor" they swoon. It's interesting to consider why that is, because most people in those professions are essentially unemployed. Seeking out such men wouldn't appear to be a winning strategy for a woman, and whether or not you think most people make wise choices you have to admit that it's unusual for a whole class of people to make similar bad decisions. So there must be a reason."So, yeah, I'm not very cool, but I'm a poet. I'm not very successful, really, or interesting, but by a poet's standards, I'm pretty successful, my friends are published by Penguin and stuff. Did I mention I'm a poet? I'll invite you to my next poetry thing, but I kinda need your number first. You know, if you want to hang out for a while, to at least decide if you think you might want to come home with me, despite the fact you have a boyfriend and all, you don't have to go home with your friends, but if not, that's okay, just make sure I get your number..."
I speculate that because our society is so wealthy and we enjoy so much luxury without even realizing it, most women don't feel much of a need to find a successful man. Most men aren't specifically attracted to professionally successful women, and nowadays women are in a similar position. More women can provide comfortable lives for themselves, so it's less important to them to find a successful husband.
As for men, what do we get out of the new deal? Imaginary girlfriends and internet pornography. And an incentive to write poetry.
I have to say, as a woman, that I've never had much of a thing for poets, musicians, artists, or actors. I think they generally tend to be idiots who are full of themselves, and besides only 1% of them are actually good enough to do anything with it.
Now I have been attracted to a few writers in my time, but I didn't like them just because they were writers, I liked them because I liked them already. Then I read some stuff they wrote that was pretty good, and I liked them even more. Generally they had day jobs too. And hey, that's you right there. :)
I ended up marrying a person with a degree in Computer Science, so don't give up hope.
I don't the phenomon has anything to do with money, though. I think mainly the problem is that when women are younger or just generally on the more vapid side, they go for men who are exciting and romantic figures, even if they are poor asses who take advantage of them. The nice solid types end up being the male friend who they just totally love like a brother, but couldn't even imagine having a relationship with.
Both my brother and my husband were in the "male friend" position for many years, and they both felt a lot of anguish about whether they were ever going to find anyone. It was also very hard for them to watch girls they really liked throw themselves at total idiots. But in the end they both found great long term relationships.
I know that's not much comfort now, but trust me, you'll find someone and you'll be a lot happier in that relationship than most.
Just make sure she thinks torturing animals is not morally wrong too. :)
Michael, you are still full of shit and don't understand women. But I'm happy to see you're reading Candied Ginger for enlightment anyway. By the way, when do we get anti-spam again? I can't come to LA to beg it out of you, but I will stoop to commenting on your website for it... ;)
R: Gosh, not everything I write is based on hopeless desperation!
C: I certainly don't understand women, but hey, I'm trying me best! I'm just glad I can learn from someone as brilliant, compassionate, and punk rock as you. If you want to know when we get anti-spam, I don't know, you'll have to talk to Daniel. If you want to know where, then check out scode -- but Daniel knows about scode, so again, talk to him. You'll have to bug him though because he's pretty busy recently.
MW: I know, but it's so cute when you do. :)