This morning I had another run-in with the dreaded Penniers. We've all seen them: the top-hatted older gents with the sextants and theodolites who meander around accidentally dropping pennies.
I watched the fellow this morning take a few measurements from the back of his El Camino before setting out across the street -- barely waiting for the walk signal. Halfway through the intersection he reached into his pocket, ostensibly for a stick of gum, and a penny fell out right onto the street! I don't think any of the other passersby noticed, but when the Pennier reached the opposite curb he turned back and gave the penny a stern glance, as if to assure himself that it had fallen in precisely the right location. He crossed back to his car when the light changed and gave the penny a little nudge with his foot on the way, and when he passed me on the sidewalk he threw me a vicious glare.
As the children's rhyme says, "Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck, \ because you will have played an important role in thwarting the copper droppers' plans for world domination." Everyone learns this as a kid, but many of us forget the critical second line just because it doesn't rhyme or flow as nicely as the first. Nevertheless, I knew what I had to do.
Once the Pennier drove off I waited a few minutes and then crossed the street myself, watching warily in every direction lest he come back just to run me over. When I reached the diabolical penny I was faced with a conundrum. If I took it they'd know immediately and come back to drop another, but if I simply dislodged it from its resting place perhaps they wouldn't notice as quickly. So with a flick of my ankle I kicked the penny approximately 14 inches towards the center of the intersection, and even managed to reverse its polarity in the process.
Only a minor victory, I know, but I am looking forward to reaping the benefits of my good luck for the rest of the day.
What the heck?
Mike, I'm only going to say this once: If you want to keep working here...stay off the drugs.
Man you have no idea what you've done. I'd advise you to get to the nearest dairy queen, find the closest public fountain, and drown a small troll-doll.
and i mean PRONTO! this shit is SERIOUS!
Michael, just how long has it been since you last saw your brain-care specialist?
But they've got theodolites!
Michael Williams is insinuating that for some reason there are people out there dropping pennies and somehow planning world domination. I will believe this group exists when I find proof of the Templars. Anyway, there are bigger battles out there. For instance, there are people who always want "in" things, people with hooks instead of hands and the most dreadful of all, people who hide orphans in fountains and refuse to print informative theater reviews. Then again, some of us simply have more important matters to attend to.
(This comment is also found on my blog because one of my readers asked about Michael's post there.)
Megan is full of it. Theolodites is the key -- they're obviously calibrating next-generation spy satellites. "Can you hear me now, old boy?"
Michael, you did good work. Keep it up, we're behind you 100%.
You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity.
Actually, they sound like relatives of the Low Men in Yellow Coats to me. If you notice any of them drawing on the sidewalks with chalk, or posting Lost Pet flyers, be afraid.
Be very afraid.
Barry: I'm not sure what being sad and strange has to do with being "little".
MW: I think "You are a sad, strange little man" is a quote from Toy Story, though maybe that was a quote from something else.
Rick C: My thoughts exactly!
And can I ask: What is a theodolite?