EXCLUSIVE! MASTER OF NONE CAN NOW REVEAL THAT JOHN KERRY'S UPCOMING JOBS AD BREAKS NEW GROUND IN THE OUTSOURCING DEBATE!

SAID KERRY: "COMPANIES LIKE NIKE AND WALMART ARE EMPLOYING THOUSANDS OF CHILD LABORERS IN SWEAT-SHOPS ACROSS ASIA. THOSE JOBS RIGHTFULLY BELONG TO AMERICAN KIDS!"

CITING LOW CHILD-EMPLOYMENT IN THE UNITED STATES, KERRY SAID, "GEORGE BUSH'S RECESSION HAS DESTOYED THE JOB PROSPECTS FOR AMERICA'S CHILDREN. IT'S TIME FOR A REAL 'NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND' POLICY THAT PENALIZES THESE BENEDICT ARNOLD CORPORATIONS FOR SHIPPING OUR CHILDREN'S OPPORTUNITIES OVERSEAS!"

DESPITE STRONG MARCH JOB CREATION NUMBERS, KERRY BOASTS, "YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET! UNDER A KERRY PRESIDENCY I'LL CREATE TEN MILLION NEW JOBS FOR AMERICA'S POOREST DEMOGRAPHIC. IT'S ABOUT TIME SOMEONE THOUGHT ABOUT THE CHILDREN."

DEVELOPING . . .

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