Listen up people, it's not rocket science. I know, because I'm a rocket scientist. Basically, do the same thing you do to get attention in Real Life. Be funny, be interesting, be irreverent, be smart, whatever your strengths are. If you don't have any strengths, be self-depricating, that should work. (How should I know?)
Then link to people. See, I linked to The Commissar to get his attention. Now he's certain to read this post and see how insightful I am for gently ribbing him while simultaneously delving into the concept of meta-promotion. (While I'm linking for attention, hi Miss Doerty!)
Blogs are an art, not a science, which means there's more talent involved than skill. Sure, careful thought and consideration will get you somewhere, but if you don't have it you're probably not going to be a huge blogger. Who cares?
Hitting it "big" doesn't just take talent, it also takes luck. (Then again, talent is the result of luck, right? You have good genes -- hurray!) If you go into the bathroom at Starbucks and find Elivis' two-headed clone snorting coke, take a picture and you'll get a million hits. If you don't get lucky, just make stuff up and idiots will pile on to debunk your nonsense and give you the attention you so richly deserve.
Anyway, the point is that it's time for me to go to lunch. Rather than wrap this post up with a neat conclusion, I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader.