As I've said before: gas prices are too high, it's time to invade another oil country. I just paid $2.23 for a gallon of 87 octane! I think Liberty Bob has the right idea, even though he doesn't have any permalinks.

That leaves the oil producing countries. What can we do about that? Well, there are two options; either they know that they are causing us economic harm or they do not know. If they don’t know, we’ll just give them a jingle and say, “Hey, you guys aren’t making enough oil and that’s hurting our economy. Could you make some more, please?” Then they’ll say, “Oh, our bad. We didn’t know. We’ll make more right away. And while we’re on the subject of more, can you send us more blue jeans? These dresses all of our men wear make us look goofy and it’s getting embarrassing.” Then the problem will be solved. ...

Naturally, if you have one country intentionally going out of their way to cause harm (not the harm that may be caused through regular competition) then it is surely an act of war. How does one deal with an act of war? That’s easy, one resorts to saturation bombing. This time when we give them a little jingle we say, “Did you guys know that you’re low oil exports are causing us harm?” They’ll respond, “Of course we are causing you harm. We don’t like you and will continue to cause you harm to the best of our ability. Ha, ha, ha.” Then we say, “Been nice talking to you. By the way, you may want to head to the basement.” (Note for those living in coastal areas of Louisiana and Florida: A basement is a room underground beneath the house. Note for those from Louisiana: These are letters which are markings used to draw sounds.)

I've heard this sentiment from several liberal Californians, as well. The thing is, in California at least, much of the blame for high prices lies with environmentalist wackos who won't let us build new refineries or drill for cheap oil off the coast. Maybe we should give them a jingle.

9 Comments

Rick C said:

And here I was thinking that the 1.73 a gallon for 87 in Green Bay was overly high.

Keep in mind that in California nearly 40 cents per gallon is TAXES (state and fed), and when the price goes up, the $ California collects goes up (sales tax).

I do believe there was a democratic proposal a while back for a BTU Tax (aka Bill Taxing Unit). Funny - democrats are for higher oil prices when they are talking the environment, but are outraged when they actually go high.

DM: Actually, since gas taxes (except the sales tax, as you mentioned) are flat, it would seem that the state would quickly lose revenue if prices go up and demand drops. If demand drops.

This page from 1995 shows that California's gas tax burden is only the 8th highest in the country. Only.

Petra said:

Why do we have to drill offcoast? Why not drill in Texas? I have wondered for quite a long time why we don't use our own oil resources. Do I want Alaskan wildlife to suffer? No but there have to be other abundant resources of it here.

JCali said:

Funny, I live in LA and don't know any liberals or democrats complaining about the high gas prices. All my SUV friends are though.

May be as a nation we should put some serious effort into developing alternative energy sources (non oil and coal) and transportation rather than trying dictate what other countries do with their natural resources.

JC: Hm... most of the liberals I know own SUVs!

JCali said:

Yeah, those liberals with their monster trucks/SUVs are everywhere in LA.

Russell Duncan said:

I just paid $2.50 a gal for reg unld gas and drove past several gas stations that had a price of $2.70 per gal, I have two ideas. First: Everyone drive no faster than 45 MPH for three months. Second: We raise the price of pottable water in the Middle East to $6.00 per gallion.

william said:

i was in socal last year and saw plenty of suv's. granted i saw fewer monster trucks but i would bet my monster truck that there are more private planes/jets there than here in the south. how many of those liberals preach about saving the planet and then pile up in their jet to fly off to make another speech about conservation and the evil suv? jc did have one point. we should work on alternative fuels but then we would still be dictating to other countries what they should do with their natural resources, they could eat their oil!!

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