Opponents and Enemies

First off, we look in the dictionary. An opponent is someone who opposes you (duh). An enemy (First definition at dictionary.com) is "One who feels hatred toward, intends injury to, or opposes the interests of another; a foe."

Ok, little problem with using "oppose" in the definition of "enemy" there, but the other definitions for enemy use the word "hostile" multiple times.

Whereas the definition for "opponent" is "One that opposes another or others in a battle, contest, controversy, or debate." So I think we can infer, in general, a distinction revolving around attitude. If you play sports, the opposing team are your opponents, but not your enemy (well, in theory. We won't get into the Thanksgiving Day football game between rival high schools. :) ). An enemy is an opponent who hates you. That's a bit of a stark distinction to draw but I think in general we can use the basic idea.

Bill Clinton was George H.W. Bush's opponent. Saddam was his enemy (not necessarily because of the war per se, but because of things like the assassination attempt, the mural of Bush's face on the floor in one of Saddam's palaces, etc.)

My son, probably because I talk about "hating" the Dallas Cowboys, sometimes calls the teams our favorite Washington Redskins play "the enemy." He's 8 and I've explained that the other team is an "opponent" or a "rival," but not an "enemy" because we don't hate each other, and we're against each other in a game, not in a war or other struggle where people intentionally try to hurt each other.

I also point out how, after the game is over, players from opposing teams will often stop each other to chat for a minute or two before heading into the locker room, and how the opposing coaches shake each other's hands.

Also along these lines is the way that NHL teams will form lines and shake hands at the conclusion of a playoff series.

Enemies have a personal grudge or hatred for each other. All enemies are opponents, but you will often have opponents who are not your enemy, or who may actually be your friend.

I think the key word is "personal".

An opponent's main goal is to win the game. An enemy's main goal is to beat the other person.

i.e. for an opponent, the winning the game is the object. For an enemy, it's a personal goal - to beat you. The game itself is secondary.

However, like Rick said in sports the lines can be blurry. In Knoxville around the week of the Florida/UT football game, it can become pretty personal - where it's not so satisfying just to win the game, but that you "crush those %^*^(*(_ Florida Gators!!" Not really enemies in the classic sense, but it is more personal.

I think the idea stated above about opponents being friends after the competition, or at least having no need to hate each other, is key. Even during war, two generals may refer to each other as opponents, indicating that when all is said and done, nothing will be held against one by the other.

The heads of state, however, are enemies. When the war is over, one must be defeated and destroyed.

The two terms are overlapping. Generally, as animosity increases, opponents shade into enemies. But modifiers such as honorable enemy can imply a state of respect between you and your opposite that brings you closer emotionally than some random opponent. Enemies are never treated with indifference. They can be hated or respected but there is never a mechanical, emotionless relationship. There is more emotional distance between opponents.

Using a sports metaphor, while both competes with you, an opponent merely wants to win, an enemy wants you to lose. An opponent would be happy to share first place with you, an enemy would be happy to be in third place as long as you are in fourth.

Grossly simplistic and no doubt ignores a whole gamut of nuance but hopefully it helps explain the concept to a child.