Geek Press points to 20 things that only happen in movies, but the list isn't that great. I'm sure I can come up with better ones. (And if I don't, I can just delete my attempt before posting it.)
1. Any computer system can be hacked in 60 seconds.
2a. Phones always ring during a break in conversation...
2b. ... and the call is always relevant to the scene...
2c. ... and there's no call-waiting.
3. No one ever thinks of a better come-back to an insult the next day.
4. If you meet someone and arrange to go on a date, you'll offer to pick them up tomorrow at 8 but never exchange addresses or phone numbers.
5. Rogues are always lovable and endearing.
6a. All combat is eventually resolved hand-to-hand.
6b. The bad guys attack one at a time.
6c. Small, fast people can beat up large, strong people.
6d. When you punch or kick someone, they go flying across the room.
7. Stalking a woman makes her fall in love with you.
8. The dumbest, most annoying, most bumbling character will be a white male.
9. Breaking the rules always turns out well.
10. Anyone can jump a 10 foot chainlink fence with minimal effort (unless a dog is in pursuit).
11a. Getting thrown through a window is merely a minor annoyance.
11b. Likewise falling down stairs.
12. All offices have windows.
13. 95% of computers are Macs.
14. Cars are always clean, even if they're old and busted.
15. Pedestrians are never hit during a car chase.
16. Getting shot once anywhere by any gun will knock you down.
17a. Old people are amazed and confused by the antics of young people.
17b. White people are amazed and confused by the antics of black people.
18a. Caves and tunnels will never be pitch black, but will always be lit by concealed, indirect lighting.
18b. If you turn off the lights in a room at night, lights outside a window will turn on.
19a. It's easy to chop off a head or limb with one blow...
19b. ... and to cut through armor...
19c. ... and to jump onto a horse while wearing armor...
19d. ... and to run around in armor.
20. Animals are invulnerable.
21a. Kids are smarter than adults.
21b. Kids can drive cars.
21c. Kids can beat up adults using karate.
21d. Kids are always good judges of character.
22a. High school students are 25 years old...
22b. ... and still wear their backpacks on one shoulder.
23. Only bad guys smoke (these days).
24. Ugly people are just beautiful people with dumpy clothes and bad haircuts.
Not that these are all new or original....
5, 6a, 7, 9, 20, 21d, 24... brilliant.
Roger Ebert wrote a book detailing such things.
What I find amazing in action movies is that the
hero and the villian are capable of getting up and walking around, even running after enduring the most bloody, violent thrashing without ER
treatment or even major surgery. The real life victims of beatings usually have internal injuries, debilitating broken bones and
perhaps even life long health problems as a result or even death after a vicious assault. But in the movies, they are all recovered aided by a few well placed by small bandages. On with the show!
I don't quite get the "backpack" thing in 22b...
When I was in college (late 80's) everybody carried their backpack over one shoulder, and anyone using both backpack straps like a hiker was the ultimate in geekiness.
Nowadays, everyone on campus wears them over both shoulders. What happened?
One-shoulder wearing leads to back problems. Kids these days wear on two shoulders.
8. The dumbest, most annoying, most bumbling character will be a white male.
And your point was....? :^)
Sorry, it just hits too close to home :(
Famous Last Words:
"I'll get it."
"Where!"
"It's so annoying, why call it freedom toast its french toast."
"Look out below!"
"Where's the fire, buddy."
"I can make it."
"I STILL can't beleve its not butter."
THe Cheif of police is always black.
Turn the light off and everything just glows blue
If your a good guy..and u hav a son...ur gonna miss his 9th birthday
15 men with automatic weapons will under no circumstances be able to kill one man with a single bullet in a revolver. But he will be able to slaughter all of them. Effortlessly.