The Universal Punchline

Do you ever find yourself forced to endure some mindless, boring drivel that feels like it goes on for ever and ever? Maybe it's in school or at work, or maybe one of your friends tells those lame stories that never end and doesn't have a punchline or a point.

Well now you can add your own punchline to any statement or story with one simple phrase! I call it the universal punchline, because anything that comes before it automatically becomes funny when you follow up with... under the sheets!

Here's an example.

Boss: We need to get that PCI analyzer card working again.
You, in your head: Under the sheets!
Co-worker: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with it; it isn't coming up.
You, in your head: Under the sheets!
Boss: Maybe we just need a new card. Ask Harry.
Co-worker: Ok, I'll see if I can grab him after lunch.
You, in your head: Under the sheets!

With this simple trick you can keep your spirits up through the most boring staff meeting or sensitivity training session. Even SDB's [brilliant, insightful -- Ed.] essays can be spiced up!

SDB: The solution to the "two body problem" is elegant and satisfying. But if there are three bodies, that can't be done.
You, outloud, surprising your co-workers: Under the sheets!

Give it a try! If someone is telling a boring story, just start saying Under the sheets! every time they pause. It may not work for every sentence, but eventually it will; everyone will start laughing and the guy will have to stop his useless babbling.

Judicious and generous use of the universal punchline will make your life better, and make you a better person. Just make sure you know when to say it outloud, and when to keep it to yourself.