Philip Plait debunks the notion that when Galileo crashes into Jupiter on September 21st, 2003 (this Sunday) the plutonnium it is carrying will set off a fusion reaction and turn Jupiter into a star. Yes, I'm serious.
Bill Clinton and the Illuminati were planning to light up Jupiter at the turn of the millenium to welcome the Antichrist, but that didn't pan out.
George W. Bush tried to set it off at 13:13, January (the 13th month of this presidency) 13th, 2001. Again, to usher in the age of the Antichrist; again, no go.
Unfortunately for the Antichrist, it doesn't look like Galileo will do the trick, either.
Hilarious post. I was looking for something to use to debunk a friend who wears a tinfoil hat... this should do nicely.