I've written about "Names, Power, and Intimacy" before, and the topic has come to mind again as I've been linking recently to the work of fellow bloggers and other types of writers.
When responding to my post about detecting uranium, Clayton Cramer called me "Mr. Williams". It was mildly discordant to me, because I don't really think of myself as "Mr. Williams"; it's a very formal style of address amongst peers these days, but still comes across as quite classy.
I often refer to Eugene, Glenn, SDB, Bill, Donald, and many other bloggers by their first names, and I have wondered if that's impolite considering that I don't really know them other than through the internet and their writings. When writing, I'll generally establish a person's identity by using their full name and a link, and from that point forward I'll use their first name. I realize it's overly familar, but the option of "Mr."-ing and "Ms."-ing everyone feels far too aloof.
So, as far as my blog-protocol goes, I've decided to operate as I would in "real life". If I have exchanged emails with someone or otherwise interacted with them other than through blog posts, I will generally refer to them by their first name, just as if we had met at a social function. Otherwise, I will use their full name and -- if required by the structure of my post -- their appropriate title and last name.
This is not to say that I find this arrangement ideal; I do not. As I wrote in the above-linked essay, I think it would be quite enjoyable and proper to return to more formal modes of address. Nevertheless, it feels awkward to do so myself, and I generally choose not to. Perhaps this feeling of awkwardness is the result of my informal blogging style; if I were writing an acedemic paper or a newspaper article I would certaily revert to the formal mode.
Our church has a children's ministries pastor who is a wonderful man, and he is quite old fashioned. He referes to his wife as 'Mrs. /Lastname/' whenever he talks about her to the children. As in "Mrs. /lastname/ and I are going to eat at a restaurant today."
He also has a speaking/storytelling style that includes NO filler words. No 'um', 'ah', 'and so', 'well, '. When I complimented him on it, he suprised me by saying he hasn't been on radio, he just thought it was important to develop that style. He also always wears a suit or at least nice slacks (never khakis). I think it is all a part of a non-casual image.
I cringe when children call me by my first name, even my nieces. I would much rather hear Mrs. /lastname/ or Aunt Leah. It bothers me just as much if a friend refers to me by my first name when talking to her children. My child is instructed to call all adults by either their last name or a title and their first name. He doesn't always do that because adults are constantly introduced to him by their first names.
I think this hurts kids perception of who is a grown up and who is a kid, and who has what roles. He isn't allowed/granted/required adult things and I am not allowed/granted/required child things. He is 7, he does not get to critique my driving, I do not require him to keep track of where we parked.
Adults who "insist" children call them by first name are trying to establish a false sense of intimacy and casualness that isn't necessary. My kid is perfectly capable of relating to people NOT in his age category, so don't demean yourself or unfairly elevate him.
(Where did all that come from?)
Leah