Continuing the topic of Love and Marriage, here's an excellent post by Cypren that expresses much of the frustration that I experience myself.
Update:
Via Megan at Page Three (who flatters some of my recent posts, although I am not a five-point Calvinist), here is a very long article about marriage by Mike McNichols that explores in plodding detail the legalistic way that many Christians look at marriage. Our society leads us to give a great deal of weight to a piece of paper issued by the state that says "you're married", but in reality that's not the point. Getting married doesn't require a ceremony or government recognition, and in fact a great many people are functionally married and probably don't even realize it (such as Ed Weathers from my previous essay).
Ah, perhaps instead of tulips you like ulips. That's what most of the 4 pointers I know like. Anyway, I agree with you about this marriage stuff. It is complicated and frustrating even to me, and I'm still single.
Well, the problem with Calvinism is that as soon as one of the five points falls, they all pretty much tumble. It's an interesting theory, but it basically boils down to salvation through works.
If I had to drop one point though it wouldn't be total depravity, it would be limited atonement.
If the Arminians are to be believed, and we truly do bear responsibility for our choices, our deeds simply reflect upon our commitment to Christ (or lack thereof), but God will guide and protect those who call on His name.
If Calvinism is true, then your actions are predestined, and hence, any choice you make is simply an illusion. You were "programmed" to do so from the dawn of time.
Since we can't prove either one, I choose to live my life with the assumption that my choices are my own to make and I bear full responsibility for them. If I don't, and I'm simply acting as I was made to do, what does it matter? And why dwell on it, when the end result is the same?
"Either you accept that everything is magic or nothing is magic. Aesthetically, I guess, I just prefer the concept that there is no magic." -- Raymond Feist, Talon of the Silver Hawk
Arminians believe that works are required for salvation, and that we are not saved by faith alone. They also believe, via "Conditional Perseverance" that salvation can be lost if one's faith wavers and/or is not backed up by works.
Both of these beliefs are heretical, and more repugnant to me than Calvinism (which I think just needs a bit of tweaking).
Man is saved by faith alone, and that salvation is accomplished instantly and completely by God's power. All past sins and all future sins are fully paid for, and from that point on no action, inaction, belief, or disbelief can change one's standing before God.
I have to confess, I'm not a theologian, and my memory of these arguments is drawn mostly from classes on Christian philosophy in college some years ago, so please forgive my lack of knowledge. (For what it's worth, I should note that I don't ascribe to any particular Christian philosophy by name -- every one I've found has at least something I disagree with.)
What I was trying to say above was not that works determine your salvation, but that they are a reflection of your belief. (As I understood it, that was the gist of the Arminian argument on faith and works, but I'm probably misremembering.)
By example, I have a friend who claims to be a Christian believer. He can cite half the Bible off the top of his head and talk rings around most people I've met when it comes to theology. However, his lifestyle leaves much to be desired, at best; he drinks heavily, sleeps around, etc. His claim is that because he believes in Christ, his lifestyle makes no difference, because he's forgiven for everything.
I have a real problem with this, as you might imagine. I don't believe he's not a Christian because he sins -- I've committed most of the same sins he has at one time or another, so I certainly have no room to point fingers -- however, I do believe that he's not a Christian because he's not trying to have a relationship with Christ. He simply treats grace as a free pass to sin.
There is a big difference, in my mind, between someone who sins, repents and resolves to do better next time, and someone who sins, shrugs it off and says, "no big deal."
What's your take on this?
I think that, as you indicate, your friend's callous disregard for God's will reflects that although he has knowledge, he does not have faith. However, it's not really our place to make that determination; God reserves judgement for himself. Whether he is a Christian or not, he certainly is not living in a way that pleases God.
I agree wholeheartedly, and pray for him regularly. I am reminded of nothing so much as 1 Cor. 8:1b.
There's a superb, long-out-of-print biography,'CHARLES SIMEON OF CAMBRIDGE' by Hugh Evan Hopkins, still available at http://www.torontochristianbooks.com/simeon.htm. It's a wonderful example of what Christianity was once considered to be, both in public and private life.
That site also has a lot of new and unplayed out-of-print Christian music cassette bestsellers, CDs, and hymn records from the 1980's and '90's. Try:
http://www.torontochristianbooks.com/cassette.htm
http://www.torontochristianbooks.com/records.htm
http://www.torontochristianbooks.com/demorecs.htm
http://www.torontochristianbooks.com/oldcds.htm
There's a substantial listing of other useful resources, too, on the huge http://www.torontochristianbooks.com main page, including their interesting list of exclusive reprints at http://www.torontochristianbooks.com/reprint2.htm.