SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR NOTHING: US armed forces are leaving Germany and moving to "more friendly countries like Romania and Bulgaria". And we're taking our billions of dollars with us. We sincerely hope that this doesn't cause your economy to utterly evaporate. Really.

Of course, this has nothing to do with you back-stabbing us in the very distant past all those months ago! As Rumsfeld says, "It seems to me that so many things have changed in the world since those forces were put there [during the Cold War era], they're now spread out through dozens and dozens of places throughout the world. That's not efficient." It's all about efficiency -- nothing personal. You're still our bestest friend and ally, it's just that we need a little time apart, that's all. Look, we'll call you in a couple of weeks ok?



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