COULROPHOBIA: Mark Aveyard writes about clowns. He doesn't seem to like most of them, other than Krusty, and I think that's perfectly understandable. I'm certainly not the first to point out that there is something distinctly unsettling about clowns. There's some unspoken understanding that clowns are funny, and it's so ingrained that the clown persists, despite the painfully obvious fact that clowns are not in the least bit funny. Many people are afraid of clowns, most people seem to dislike them, and no one thinks they're funny in general.

That's why they bother me. Is civilization too afraid to tell the clowns the truth? Your time has passed! Get a new schtick, and don't even consider miming. The water-squirting flowers and tiny cars that hold 50 clowns just aren't amusing anyone anymore. In the age of Real Ultimate Power, The Powerpuff Girls, Hamtaro, and the GBA SP, you are nothing more than the remnant of entertainment's pitiful past, invisibly forgotten. Go gently into that good night.



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